Nsyb ibn Hrm al-Sulami

أَخْبَرَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ حُجْرِ بْنِ إِيَاسِ بْنِ مُقَاتِلِ بْنِ مُشَمْرِخِ بْنِ خَالِدٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، عَنْ أَيُّوبَ، وَابْنِ، عَوْنٍ وَسَلَمَةَ بْنِ عَلْقَمَةَ وَهِشَامِ بْنِ حَسَّانَ - دَخَلَ حَدِيثُ بَعْضِهِمْ فِي بَعْضٍ - عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سِيرِينَ، قَالَ سَلَمَةُ عَنِ ابْنِ سِيرِينَ، نُبِّئْتُ عَنْ أَبِي الْعَجْفَاءِ، - وَقَالَ الآخَرُونَ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سِيرِينَ، عَنْ أَبِي الْعَجْفَاءِ، - قَالَ قَالَ عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ أَلاَ لاَ تَغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهُ لَوْ كَانَ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ كَانَ أَوْلاَكُمْ بِهِ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مَا أَصْدَقَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلاَ أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَىْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُغْلِي بِصَدُقَةِ امْرَأَتِهِ حَتَّى يَكُونَ لَهَا عَدَاوَةٌ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَحَتَّى يَقُولَ كُلِّفْتُ لَكُمْ عَلَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ وَكُنْتُ غُلاَمًا عَرَبِيًّا مُوَلَّدًا فَلَمْ أَدْرِ مَا عَلَقُ الْقِرْبَةِ قَالَ وَأُخْرَى يَقُولُونَهَا لِمَنْ قُتِلَ فِي مَغَازِيكُمْ أَوْ مَاتَ قُتِلَ فُلاَنٌ شَهِيدًا أَوْ مَاتَ فُلاَنٌ شَهِيدًا وَلَعَلَّهُ أَنْ يَكُونَ قَدْ أَوْقَرَ عَجُزَ دَابَّتِهِ أَوْ دَفَّ رَاحِلَتِهِ ذَهَبًا أَوْ وَرِقًا يَطْلُبُ التِّجَارَةَ فَلاَ تَقُولُوا ذَاكُمْ وَلَكِنْ قُولُوا كَمَا قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ مَنْ قُتِلَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ أَوْ مَاتَ فَهُوَ فِي الْجَنَّةِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

It was narrated that Abu Al-'Ajfa' said:"Umar bin Al-Khattab said: 'Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honor and dignity in this world, or a sign of piety before Allah, the Mighty and Sublime, then Muhammad would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve Uqiyyah. A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her and says: You cost me everything I own ('Alaqul-Qirbah)'" "And I was a man born among the 'Arabs, but I did not know the meaning of 'Alaqul-Qirbah' and others of you are saying -about those killed in this or that battle of yours, or who died: 'So-and-so was martyred' or 'so and so died as a martyr.' While perhaps he merely overloaded the backside of his beast, or lined his saddle with gold or silver seeking trade. So do not say that, rather say as the Prophet said: 'Whoever is killed in the cause of Allah, or dies, then he is in Paradise

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عُبَيْدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ أَيُّوبَ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدٍ، عَنْ أَبِي الْعَجْفَاءِ السُّلَمِيِّ، قَالَ خَطَبَنَا عُمَرُ رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ فَقَالَ أَلاَ لاَ تُغَالُوا بِصُدُقِ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ لَكَانَ أَوْلاَكُمْ بِهَا النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مَا أَصْدَقَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلاَ أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَىْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً ‏.‏

AbulAjfa' as-Sulami said:Umar (Allah be pleased with him) delivered a speech to us and said: Do not go to extremes in giving women their dower, for if it represented honour in this world and piety in Allah's sight, the one of you most entitled to do so would have been the Prophet (ﷺ). The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) did not marry any of his wives or gave any of his daughters in marriage for more than twelve uqiyahs

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ بْنُ هَارُونَ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَوْنٍ، ح وَحَدَّثَنَا نَصْرُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ الْجَهْضَمِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ بْنُ زُرَيْعٍ، حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ عَوْنٍ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سِيرِينَ، عَنْ أَبِي الْعَجْفَاءِ السُّلَمِيِّ، قَالَ قَالَ عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ لاَ تُغَالُوا صَدَاقَ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوًى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ كَانَ أَوْلاَكُمْ وَأَحَقَّكُمْ بِهَا مُحَمَّدٌ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ مَا أَصْدَقَ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلاَ أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنِ اثْنَتَىْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُثَقِّلُ صَدَقَةَ امْرَأَتِهِ حَتَّى يَكُونَ لَهَا عَدَاوَةٌ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَيَقُولُ قَدْ كَلِفْتُ إِلَيْكِ عَلَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ أَوْ عَرَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ ‏.‏ وَكُنْتُ رَجُلاً عَرَبِيًّا مُوَلَّدًا مَا أَدْرِي مَا عَلَقُ الْقِرْبَةِ أَوْ عَرَقُ الْقِرْبَةِ ‏.‏

It was narrated that:Abu Ajfa As-Sulami said: “Umar bin Khattab said: 'Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honor and dignity in this world or a sign of Taqwa before Allah, then Muhammad (ﷺ) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives and none of his daughters were given more than twelve uqiyyah. A man may increase dowry until he feels resentment against her and says: “You cost me everything I own,” or, “You caused me a great deal of hardship.”'” (Hassan)